"ISIS is on the ropes, the border has never been more secure and the story of summer is.", Donald Jr. began.
He went on to lament "SNL" being on vacation for Anthony Scaramucci's brief tenure as White House communications director before "SNL" alum Bill Hader showed up to play Scaramucci.
The half-hour show - which will provide four weeks of original summer filler - also featured "SNL's" Mikey Day and Alex Moffatt reprising their roles as the president's sons, Donald Jr. and Eric, respectively.
Among the political topics Jost and Che covered specifically were immigration policy - who knew Lady Liberty had gotten so picky about guys, quipped Che - Kim Jong Un threatening Guam, the NAACP's Missouri travel advisory, and the Baltimore Police Dept. planting drugs on suspects. This is just a four-week run for Weekend Update's Colin Jost and Michael Che. "No one cares about my meeting with the Russians anymore".
But fake Donald Jr. - much like real Donald Jr. - insisted the story was a "nothing burger".
"Guy shouldn't get in trouble because nothing happened!"
"What about the reports that your father actually helped craft the statement you made to the public to help mislead them deliberately?" asked Jost.
"All my father did was give me some advice", Don Jr. clarified.
"He said son, go out there and tell the truth", Trump Jr. said.
"And then he winked", Eric added.
"All I did was sell my company, miss the birth of my child and ruin my entire reputation, all to be king of Idiot Mountain for 11 days", he said.
Don Jr. compared the Russian Federation story to "To Catch a Predator", and the incredibly witless Eric was impressed by his Fidget Spinner.